First ever
I am trying to remember the first university I visited, and I am reaching back to pre-middle school at this point. I think that technically, the first college I visited was Manatee Community College when I was in elementary school. This would of been between 1986-1991, probobly around 1990. It was a short camp experience. We only went one summer and it was probably only for 4 weeks. Mom never sent us back because we claimed we didn’t like it, but really I think we were hoping we could just stay home instead of going to these lame camps.
My mom and dad worked during summers, so my brother and I were always enrolled in summer day camps, like at the YMCA or at the day care system at Sarasota Memorial Hospital. We hated them. We would rather be doing anything we wanted, sleeping in, ect during the summer; we ended up having to get up at 730 am during the summer to be dropped off with some 20 something “counselors” and a bunch of other kids we didn’t know. My dad would prepare pack lunches, which for me always included Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and sodas.
One of the better camps we went to was at MCC. It was set up “class” style, in which we were able to choose different courses and we rotated throughout the week. I remember my mom signed tony and I up for “edict” classes, which made us really mad. We didn’t know what edict was really, but we knew it was with a bunch of girls and would probably be totally lame.
Edict class
We were 2 of 3 boys in the class, and I remember the teacher sort of laughing when we showed up. We learned about how to set a table, table manners, how to welcome guests at a party and how to be good guests. We also learned about how to dress, which pissed me off. I don’t like being told what to do in general, and thats all this class was to me. I remember the teacher, a woman, was always instructing the boys and girls seperatly, and this also puzzled and befilled me. I was always pretty rebelious, as was Tony, and we always told the teacher we wouldn’t do things like hold the door for girls, let them get out of the elevator first, complement them, ect. We were constantly undermining her authority with weird questions and rants. She had to have hated that.
I do remember learning about beauty stuff, like makeup and other things that Tony and I had no use for. One interesting lesson was “shapes of faces”. I think I had a rectangular face. I liked that, it seemed masculine and tough. The other choices were round, heart shaped, and other wierd titles I couldn’t remember if you paid me. I vaguelly remember one girl, who was one of the more talkative ones, had a heart face and I thought she was very pretty. I would never admitted it at the time though.
Best lessons involved table manners probably, those are the only ones I can remember.
Chemistry Instruction
We also took chemistry, which to date has been my only formal training in that subject (sad, I know). I learned the difference between acids and base, and I think there was a neutral thrown in there. It involved math, so I of course hated it and didn’t try at all. I thought I was going to fail, which seems ridiculous now, but at the time I was really afraid of getting in trouble with my parents.
I probably copied off Tony or other boys in the class and didn’t learn anything. I thought chemistry was going to be cool, like with chemicals and burners and big beakers, dissecting frogs and building aquarium worlds, but it wasn’t like that at all. I remember the teacher said it was too dangerous to do any of that, which was a shame because we had classes in the science rooms with all of the equipment. What a tease, putting kids in that enviornment and not allowing them to explore. I think my mom signed us up for that class, as she was a medical technologist.
Drama Class
Finally, I remember we took drama, which was also the only drama class I’ve taken. I remember how cool it was to explore the props and costumes, not to mention the stage area with all kinds of cool catwalks and crawl spaces. There were three groups, and we had to each perform a play. We didn’t rehearse at all I remember; we were more interested in hanging out and playing with the costumes and stuff.
Goldilocks from the future
The biggest obstacle to slacking off was that everyone in the group had to have a job/part in the play. We decided to do “goldilocks and the three bears from the future”. Later, due to slacking off, we just did the original. The play really didn’t involve that many characters; 4 by my estimation. The only girl in our group played the obvious lead role, and other boys played the bears. Tony and I invented a role for ourselves, we would be the “voices” for all the characters, which ment we didn’t have to go on stage. We sat in the cool rafter area stage right and did all the lines ourselves, while the characters mouthed them. What a horrible play it must have been to watch.
Tony and I fought over who would do the goldilocks voice. I can’t remember who actually did it, but if you asked us today either of us would deny it. The whole concept of seperate voice providers is freaking terrible, I can’t believe we actually got to do it. But on reflection, I guess its kind of creative. I remember just trying to get it over with. Again, we never really rehearsed, so there were constant stopping and people looking around looking dumb. I remember goldilocks was ok, she actually cared I guess. She was very animated with her voicing, actually bouncing up and down with the lines, leaning in toward different characters while she did it, sort of directing tony and I to what came next. She was wearing a blue and white “little boe peep” style dress and styled her hair in blond pig tails. She was pretty cute if I recall correctly.
The scarf girl
The best play was done by another group. It was the one about the girl who constantly wore a scarf around her neck, and when she finally took the scarf off, her head fell off. How bad ass is that for elementary school age boys and girls to perform!
I remember the scarf girl was played by this taller boy, who had a bald, completely white, styrofoam wig head rapped in a jacket on top of his head. The collar of the long jacket was at about eye level on him, and the weird styrafoam head pedestal thing sat on top of his head. The collar was buttoned pretty tight to keep the head in place, and of course the scarf kept it on as well. The problem was he really couldn’t see under the costume, and had to be lead around sometimes. Sometimes the head turned in a wierd way, which added to the complete ridiculousness of the costume. He as unusally tall, even by adult standards. I mean, the kid was probobly 5′7″, which is tall for elementary school, and the fake head on top made him about 6′2″.
The story wasn’t new to me, I always liked morbid stories like that. They always seemed to be set in the late 19th century, like edgar allan poe times. I guess these were scary stories to those lame Victorians.
The play was a love story if I recall, and for some reason the girl was wanted by all the dudes, but only if she took off her scarf. I would have let her keep the scarf on I thought, I mean, who fucking cares? Eventually, no men wanted her, so she went to a graveyard (I guess this makes sense, for logistical reasons) with her family. She removed the scarf and her head fell off. I can tell you that for tony and I, this was the most awsome thing ever. We wondered why they were allowed to do that play, as we were constantly being told we couldn’t do anything fun at this camp or in drama class.
Conclusions
As far as the moral, I guess she would rather die than become an old maid, a chilling lesson for young girls back in the day.
There were some funny problems. At the climax, the tall kid removed the scarf and fell down. But the collar of the jacket kept the head in place, so the tall kid, playing dead, reached up with his hand and removed his own head. The audience erupted with laughter. “how fake!” tony and I said I think, which is so much of an overstatement I can’t really comment on it.
Another funny moment was after the climax of the story, when the scarf was removed, a doctor arrived from out of freaking no wear. Why was the doctor at the grave yard? I suspect this had to do with everyone having to have a part in the play. So the doctor walks in, checks her radial pulse, and declares her dead. I found this part funny in a stupid way, beacuse her head had fallen off. I mean, isn’t that a dead give away that she’s deceased? But the doctor was proud because he fulfilled his role of having a part it the play.
I remember telling my mom about the play on the way home, and she thought it was morbid and shouldn’t have been done. I don’t know if she complained or not.
As far as the campus itself, it was the main campus in brandenton. We always ate lunch in the student union area, which was cool, and it reminded me later of an elaborate highschool. Its always sort of indimidating going to a new campus, but I remember knowing my way around after a few days. I also remember thinking how cool college must be, as there seems to be so much freedom to move around and the teachers didn’t walk you around like they did at my school. Also, you had multiple teachers and got to move from classroom to classroom, which increaesed the slacking time that was absent at my school. Plus they had vending machines, which of course they didn’t have at my elementary school either, and I could buy candy with the change I had horded in my room.
I don’t recall ever returning to the manatee campus ever again, although it still exists. This was the offical first of many college campuses I would visit in my life time, so it’s pretty notable. Although, I’ve never thanked my parents for sending me to this camp, and really I haven’t thought about it since until this blog. But after writing about it, I’m laughing alot and realizing what a cool expereinc it was.
Posted by broseph 
